Betrayal & Relational Trauma
Understanding what is happening after you have been betrayed in your relationship.
Moving out of Hypervigilent State to a Regulated State
Traumatic memories can come in many forms, from childhood physical and sexual abuse to emotional neglect. But one person’s ‘normal’ event might be another’s trauma if it is not dealt with properly – for instance when there are persistently invalidating environments or rape which may seem like only a single occurrence but still have lasting effects on someone later down life’s path.
I strive to never let my clients feel alone during this process because we all need help sometimes even though some people think they’re doing fine without any outside assistance.
Trauma is a life-changing event. When we speak of trauma, our thoughts turn negative and painful experiences into something more complicated than just an unfortunate happening in your everyday routine; instead they become what you have gone through to date – the root cause for all that pain with purposeful meaning behind them so as not only overcome hardships but also find strength along this journey.
The simplest definition of “trauma” suggests it’s some kind or extreme shockwave which affects both person experiencing said violence/stressor
Betrayal Comes in Many Forms:
Infidelity
Infidelity, either sexual or emotional, creates a divide in the relationship due to the loss of trust. Gaining your partners trust back is essential to heal the relationship. Therapy will give you the skills to show empathy and support while healing.
Abuse
Abusive relationships can be physical, emotional, or verbal, and is often a combination of one or more. The harm from domestic violence can be long-lasting and take a lot of work to overcome.
Sex Addiction
Sex addiction can often lead or already has lead to infidelity within the relationship. Understanding the addictive systems and getting help for this type of betrayal may be necessary to move forward in your life.
Porn Addiction
When our partners choose to watch increasingly watch porn over having real physical intimacy with us, we feel betrayed and it creates a disconnect in our relationships that may need help to come back from.
Lying
Lying is a compulsive disorder that creates distrust in your relationship. Compulsive lying is a form of partner betrayal that is as devastating as any other form of betrayal.
Signs That You Are Experiencing Partner Betrayal
,The signs and symptoms of partner betrayal trauma will vary depending on the person, the most common example is intrusive thoughts and a severely dysregulated nervous system. This can be having flashbacks of the betrayal or nightmares related to the incident. Nervous system dysregulation causes our brains to function at a subpar level, creating a disconnect between body and mind resulting in a state of flight, fight, freeze, or fawn. Feelings of anxiety and depression, insomnia, change in behavior, and emotional numbness can all mean your suffering from partner betrayal trauma.